Allah's love

Okay,

So, I have a niece, who I love more than life itself! And I mean that, like I'm not just saying it, I mean it! I have never experienced the feeling of missing someone, I say it all the time to my friends but I never actually miss anyone. This is me, who went to France at the age of 18 and stayed away for 4 months and called home once every 2/3 weeks. So when I say I don't miss people, I mean it. But my niece, 5 days or more and I'm willing to make ridiculous one hour visits to the other side of manchester just to see her face. And I can't begin to describe how that little girl holds my heart in her hands, she can make me feel like the most loved person in the world if she crawls to me when I walk in to a room, or the most useless if she simply smiles at me. Imagine this is how I feel, and I'm her aunt.

How does her mother feel? She must love her more than she loves her own mother. And its when Allah's love is compared to a mother's love that we begin to understand what his love means. But lately I've been struggling, can it be the same love? Or is it different in its own magnificent way.

Even as I write what I'm truly feeling, I'm conscious of Allah watching me, so I'm censoring myself. Because this love makes me feel guilty as I sit here having delayed Maghrib, its makes me feel inadequate that I don't spend enough time on my salahs, it strikes fear in my heart when I think of the grave. But at the same time I know if I just submit all these feeling, fears, worries will disappear. Sarah Joseph recently had a status that read, If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way your going to regret it. So either I live my life submitting to Allah completely or I spend my time regretting not submitting to Allah completely.

Salaam all

At the risk of sounding stupid...i feel like a pakistani now...hehe...i had a big family gathering (well it was about 15 people altogether) there was my great aunt, two great uncles, my mum's sister, her two children and husband, my dad and his mum, my mum and her 6 children (well thats us!). being somali i never had any of that 'my uncle is coming back from hajj so lets go get him from the airport and make sure that our second cousins wife's dog know about it! in fact we didnt know our great uncle/aunts were coming till last night!

i've been meaning to do something about my family and the fact that i dont know alot about them so i'm off to america insha Allah as all my family there live in callifornia - my brother went in december and he had a ball of a time - about 80% of my family in america live in the same area! my great uncle (who shall be referred to as uncle 2 from now on) and i are going to make a family tree insha Allah! uncle2 isn't really that old, i was expecting an old man with a grey beard etc but he's a young man, apparently he's a taxi driver over there and once he was caught speeding and he tried to worm his way out of a fine although they had caught him on camera and you could see his face as clear as day (or night in his case). my great aunt is also quite young, when she was leaving she cracked me and aisha up because she said 'i'll see you later guys" now say that again in a somali/american acccent..it hi-larious!

my unlce2 said he'd get me a ticket to go see them, so now, all that stands in my way is fear of flying...i promise you the more i fly the worse i get, i remember when i was first going to france i was so excited about the flight, i sat near the window etc but the trips back and forth for holidays made me realise that it wasn't fun being suspended in air...i mean really...we're human beings we should stay on the ground!

anyhoo i digress...i cant wait to get there and meet all my family and chat with aunts and uncles and shock male cousins cos i dont plan on hugging them (in somali culture cousins act like brothers and sisters). my brother made a dvd where he lined up 30 or so odd cousins in one room and went round and found out their name and how they were related to him, cant wait to do that aswell and i cant wait for sleepless summer nights talking to the oldies and having fun with the youngies!

okay i'll leave you with some pictures of our gathering!




the above picture is of the odd ones out, the ones who are additions to the mumin (my mums) familyits my dad, his mum and my aunts husband...lol

Wow at the bottom of the home page it says you can blog in hindi...can someone who speaks hindi try please? i bet it's look really cool

I had such an interesting weekend!i had a living islam weekend meeting in linconshire, so i set off at 6am from my house to catch the train to bradford where a borther would give me and cow a lift. i got there and there wasnt a train till 7.25 which meant i wouldnt get to bradistan till 8.45 and i needed to be there for 8.00...anyhoo i called cow and being the genius she is she said to catch a train to leeds where we could catch the 7.50 train to bradford (it only takes 20 mins to from leeds to bradford). we got to bradford and made it to linconshire on time for our 10.30 meeting, but it turns out that everyone is late and arrival time is in fact General Muslim Time.....we started the meeting at 11.30 or someting like that!

For those of you who know the ex-ISB president he lost his dad on thursday and the jannazah was on friday, he was meant to be attending the meeting but for obvious reasons he didnt come. at the beginnning of the meeting the vp of living islam gets a phone call from the ex-president apologising for not being able to make it to the meeting...how amazing is that....after the vp puts the phone down he begins to cry because so many people didn't turn up to the meeting who were supposed to and many called on the day to say they weren't coming but here was a brother who had a genuine reason not to come, no-one would expect him to send his apologies but he did it anyway! we as ym have so much to live upto seriously and its quite daunting sometimes, the ISB lot are so great in everything masha Allah, they're all really successful in their careers, they're dedicated islamic workers, they've got the bond of brothehood that so many envy, they're wise...i could go on forever!

the meeting was cool, our plan (yms) were ripped to pieces in a good way because it made us more determined in our minds what we wanted to do, so we fought for them and won!hehe

the weekend meeting meant we'd all be sleeping on site at linconshire but it turned out that all the sisters were going home and the vp was planning a nice dinner and a movie for everyone who was staying afterwards....it would have been nice if it wasn't for the fact that it'd be me and 7 other brothers (btw they're all over 30, i'm sure, so they're like my dads...in fact some think they're my dads when it comes to safety and lifts, its really cool actually i have 3 shoe-in dads at meetings), so i went home on saturday night!the journey home involved, a train to bradford from leeds at 10.30pm, a bed in bradford, a train to leeds from bradford, then one from leeds to manchester! i was faffing about too much!

i have to say this but i almost think its a sin to say it but i miss mcdonalds, i've tried o convince myself that the food wasn't that delicious but it is!!!those fillet o'fish burgers would just melt in your mouth, top that off with frnch fries and curry sauce uts just heaven! but the boycottt must go on!

Okay i also give up on titles

i woke up this morning for fajr (thanks to liz), prayed and went for a jog! i have to say that jogging at 6am in the morning can be quite depressing as you feel the whole world is asleep...so we (aisha and i) went for a quick jog around the block and then did something called suicides. for those of you who don't know what that is its where you run to a certain point (in our case the nieghbours door) touch the ground and run back to the starting point, then to a point further than the first point and back, and then a third point past the second and back...you have to do this five time or 10 or how ever many you want but believe me its tiring.

i then came home after 30 mins....what??!? thats enough exercise for one day...watched some telly and marched off to school. i found out that my little sister is a bit of a chicken, when i was her age i was doing all sorts of things on my own but she's so spoilt that she can't even get the bus to wilmslw road on her own! tut tut! the youth of today eh?

i got into uni and realised that i couldnt really be bothered to concentrate in class or do anything so during a break i sat on a window sill somewhere in the corridor, and looked out into the day and then i came back to do more of nothing. i realised today that my classmates find me to be a bit of a novelty, they almost get shocked when i make jokes and listen and judge me on and everything i say. like the other day this guy had a t-shirt on and it had something written on it so i tried to read it, he said to me 'i don't want you to read, you won't like it (or something to that effect) and i said 'how do you know i wont like it' and then i read it and it turned out to be a rude joke. but it was so strange to see that this random guy had gauged the type of person i am and what i find to be suitable and what not. they also think i'm humble, modest, cute, meek....its all really strange its like i'm leading a double life - quite muslima by day, crazy muslima by night! ahhhh the joys of being a muslim in such a field!

i then met up with a friend and walked a whopping one hour (keep in mind the morning jog people!) where we talked, laughed, danced and hugged! well maybe not danced! but it was good fun! i also bought sunflower seeds, this wouldn't really be a thing i would blog about if it wasn't for the fact that they're so adictive but also large consumption of them can lead to errrm diarrohea! why make them addictive and bad for you?!?!? anyway i have to eat a bit at a time!!

right now ust in the middle of downloading final cut pro so i can start making my home movies! so watch this space!lol

What a gentleman!

Jug, Aisha and I were downstairs watching Lost/cleaning when Hussein went upstairs and came downstairs looking like this:



He stood at the door and i promise you we could smell the aftershave from acroos the room! Awwwww, you should've seen him, he was so happy with himself! All he's missing now is a cigar...:)

We're now trying to work out who he's trying to impress...my guess is Jughead.

Once you go mac, you never go back

Wooohooooo i have finally got my mac!!!its so delicious!!!

i went to get yesterday from the apple store in the Arndale, i usually just go in there just to look at all the shiny and cool gear or to experience that new computer smell however yesterday i meant business; i went in and said to the assistant I'm not leaving till i buy a mac today - that made his day i think because they work on commission - and i didn't!they had it delivered to my house at 7pm....i couldn't be there went it arrived as i was at a circle - the sacrifices i make for Islam - but i made up for lost time by playing with it well into the early hours of the night!!!

honestly i think i might throw a party in honour of my i-mac, it comes with in-built speakers, camera, a DVD/CD drive on the side of it, a remote which means i can control music, videos and photos from across the room!!!

Without further ado here it is

this next part of the post is not for the faint hearted!!so if you're squeamish turn away, turn away now!

whilst i was at the circle Hussein and my mum were at home bonding, chatting, playing etc when my mum decided to go into the kitchen, Hussein then feeling unloved gets my mums tasbih and hits it against the wall!!!the beads break off and bounce of the laminate flooring making a ridiculous amount of noise, so my mum comes into the living room to find her tasbih scattered all over the room!!she promptly demands that he pick it all up but he goes on to get kafe's (our kitten) bowl and throw all his biscuits on the floor...my mum losing her patience threatens to tell Aisha that he spilt kafe's food so Hussein begins to pick up all the biscuits off the floor and apologise to my mum.

later on when everything had settled down, my mum told Hussein to put his shoes on, he comes into the room and says to my mum after having put on his shoes 'mum can you get this out of my nose?', so my mum gets a tissues and squeezes his nose in an effort to get this 'bogey' out, when nothing appears on the tissue my mum lifts his head up and finds he has a bead lodged in his nose and she's just moved it further up his nose in her bid to blow his nose for him!!!my mum then starts panicking because she can't ask Hussein to blow his nose because that usually means he sniffs up which would mean the bead would move further up so she gets his nose, puts it in her mouths tries to suck it out - GROSS OR WHAT!?! - at this point my mum is picturing an ambulance, a trip to the hospital and Hussein's un-timely death! she then presses his left nostril down and tells him to blow and for the first time since he's been with us actually blows rather than sniffing up and the bead flies out!lol

i suppose our mothers will do anything for us!!!!

People pleaser

Does everyone remeber that thing that was going round where we had to write 10 good things about ourselves? i was reading my old posts yesterday when i came across this message from someone...

Anonymous said...
sister, after reading your entry :"10 things about me" it looks like to me that you are pple pleaser, how long can u keep pleasing other pple?........

The 10 things about me doesn't make me a people pleaser it makes me a good muslim....and whats wrong with thinking about others for once? if everyone in the world did that we'd have less problems...and everything i do i do for the sake of Allah so don't judge me when you don't know me...

Salaam Ladies and Gents

So i took a bit of a break from blogger....but i'm back now, i assure you all that there is a reason for it.....i had a few things i needed to do including muslim jewish theatre - which was magical, for all of you that missed it you really missed out - uni work, random interviews with the bbc and so forth and so on.....

at the moment i'm trying to work out what i want to d with my life, well i know what i want to do but its how to go about it thats the problem and i can't seem to get myself to a careers advisor....maybe i'lll do that tomorrow....maybe

as you all know islamic relief are doing their famous concert again and oulandish are coming....i've been a fan of them since 'look into my eyes', i love that song, in fact i was listening to that song when i had my blogged/ranted about israel, being a pharmacist and life in general!anyhoo lets try and get everyone there because islamic relief concerts are one of those events that you just can't miss out on, it'd be like missing out on living islam!